I think I died a long time ago.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
