Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
