I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
