Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
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At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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