Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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