the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
