i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to calm my uterus...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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