How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i drank out of a bidet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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