i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
