Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
should my penis look like a turkey
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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