dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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