So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
