scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
