Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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