Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
