I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
