Is it normal to miss your booty call?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
