Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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