but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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