is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
