I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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