you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize