I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
