You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
