when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
