I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
