It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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