I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
