i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
