woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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