I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
