Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
