I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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