Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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