you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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