I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
