Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
