with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
