yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
