Your face is a jimmy john
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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