this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
