the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Too much gin, very little bucket
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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