Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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