I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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