I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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