Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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