Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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