Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
