Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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