Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
