Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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