so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize