I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I believe in your delicious
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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