What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
