If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize