dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
