i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
