Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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